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February 27, 2005

PLANET MORONIA: The British Inquisition

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave

 

 

 

-Martin Kite-Powell

 

A couple of days ago Rob at kommentariat posted a link to the blog of a retired doctor living across the pond in merry old England. It seems that merriment comes at a price of late in the country Lady Thatcher worked so hard to deregulate. The Social Affairs Unit blog has disseminated to those of us living outside the Empire some pretty amazing information about the UK's current state of affairs. As a physician, Anthony Daniels (not of Star Wars fame), experienced his share of bureaucracy in the British socialized healthcare system (which he discusses in the same post for your enjoyment). He says however that nearly the worst of all vexations he has endured was the one most recently asssociated with the threat of fines from local officials because he did not have a license to watch (not to own, but to watch) television in his home. Britons must first pay for and possess a valid license to enjoy this exclusive luxury. You read that correctly: a valid license to watch TV. Failure to stay up on your license could make you subject to official surveillance and, if caught watching The Cosby Show, Mr. Bean or anything else, vulnerable to a fine of £1,000 (around $1,500US).

 

I'm sure it makes things interesting trying to shop for a television set. How does one even buy one? Of course, I’m sure electronic stores have demos out for shoppers to look at without proving they are licensed to do so, but it certainly is something any comedian could have a heyday with. Do you have to be a certain age? Do you have to go to TV-watching school to operate one safely and according to regulations? Do you need a special license for extended family visits? And according to Anthony these shops require you purchase a license at the same time you buy your tele (presumably so they won’t be liable for your deviant behavior –I’m sure this was a problem at some point!) The sad part is Anthony doesn't even have a television set.

 

In the same post Anthony also discusses how citizens are compelled to vote or else. So how is it if every Briton votes, that ridiculous regulations such as TV-viewer’s licensing are allowed to continue? Surely in the land of Oliver Cromwell and Winston Churchill there are enough to turn the tide. Let’s hope so.

 

And if you think it could never happen on the western side of the pond, Ted Kennedy would be very happy to prove otherwise. Just remember this is just where he, Howard the Dean and Hitlary Clinton would dearly like to take the land of the free and home of the brave.

 

For free peoples everywhere, I believe Sir Edmund Burke would be rolling over in his grave. Let’s get a grip folks: Watching the television or listening to the radio in your own home is nobody’s business. While it isn’t exactly the Spanish inquisition, as I commented at Rob’s blog, it’s nonetheless like requiring “a license to look out the window.” Maybe it’s time for them to look at a new Magna Carta.

 

In the meantime, tomorrow I will take flowers to my grandfather’s grave, and thank him for leaving behind the alluring land of Londinium for much less claustrophobic living.

 

 

Posted by Martin at February 27, 2005 07:56 PM

Comments

I read the original and I dont see where "Anthony also discusses how citizens are compelled to vote or else."

Also Anthony Daniels is also an essayist and author with a nom de plume of Theodore Dalrymple.
Tough stuff he writes.

Posted by: Jayson at February 27, 2005 10:15 PM

Tenth paragraph down, just past the old barn and to the left:

"2. Once a year, I receive through the post a letter marked with the exhortatory words, "Don't lose your right to vote – register now". Added to this is the warning, in case I don't feel like exercising my right, "Failure to comply could lead to a £1000 fine". This is like being accosted by a beggar in the street who simultaneously appeals to your charity and menaces you if you don't cough up."

I feel bad I have overlooked such acclaim. He indeed was a wonderful read and I shall be certain to add to his credentials, though I'm sure no one of his caliber need plum from here.

Posted by: Martin @ b l o g.b a t at February 27, 2005 10:25 PM

So you can have a TV, but still need a license to watch it? Does that mean you can't have your own dish?

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 28, 2005 02:01 PM

You can own a dish all you want with no tax liability as far as I know. But if you want to watch TV programs available through the dish (or even old-fashioned antenna) you must pay the yearly TV Tax.

Posted by: Rob at February 28, 2005 04:42 PM

Also, I need to issue you a slight correction, Martin. 1000 pounds today is the equivalent of at least US$1,900. Yes, $1900...the exchange rate is just that bad. 1 pound = $1.90 or so.

Posted by: Rob at February 28, 2005 04:45 PM

It goes on from glory to glory, doesn’t it? But at least the ever-vigilant authorities are taking out these devious criminal masterminds before England goes to hell in a hand basket.

Posted by: Blogbat [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 28, 2005 04:53 PM

Does that mean that I have to pay a tax to watch Python on BBCAmerica?

Or should I be sending a bill to the Exchequer for my telly-watching services?

Or....

Posted by: JD at March 2, 2005 06:51 PM

Just beware they might be waiting for you at next port of entry ;) j/k

Posted by: Blogbat at March 2, 2005 11:13 PM

How much is the license??

does it depend on the size of tv, etc...

just curious...

Posted by: john t at November 26, 2005 12:32 PM

Probably not - though you might have given them an idea ;-)

Posted by: Martin at November 27, 2005 10:38 PM