« Satellite Spying: From Absurd to Alarming | Main | Turkey's Fly »

September 28, 2006

Here’s the Official ACLU Wheel of Torture...

Some fun from the humor-in-truth file

 

 

 

Uncovered from the secret vaults of the ACLU:

 

 

Lock Islamofascist terrorist in a room by himself without a Koran. Means: Torture of Islamofascist. Fix: Sue to force government to supply Koran to Islamofascist.

Lock a non-Muslim religious pro-life activist in a room by himself with a Bible. Means: Torture of atheists who know that someone somewhere may have a Bible when it was preventable. Fix: Sue to remove Bible on grounds of church-state separation.

Beat and starve practitioner of any religion regardless of age or gender in China. Means: Matter of sovereignty and diversity. Fix: The US government should respect other cultures; sue to nullify the Taiwan treaty, which unduly places pressure on China for obviously racist reasons, which is a violation of international law (Justice Kennedy will like this one).

A serial child-rapist has been sentenced to death after the brutal assault and murder of a precious child. Means: Torture of child-rapist. Fix: Appeal on grounds sex offender is victim of society (in particular, non-Islamofascist religious people) and get the sentence, the death penalty statute, and the outlawing of all forms of assault on children ruled as unconstitutional restrictions of free speech and invasions of privacy. While the appeals are pending, get the judge to order free satellite TV, Game Cubes, and unfiltered internet access to all offenders on death row, along with the ability to vote; and allow the accused rapist to sue the parents of dead child for defamation while speaking out on Nancy Grace and Oprah, and otherwise interfering with his fundamental rights by not having more children and making them available to him.

Church displays cross on private property but in public view. Means: Torture of lone atheist living in van down by the river at the edge of town (and by extension, every oppressed person in world history). Fix: Sue on grounds offender causes undue emotional torment by public display, implicitly reminding lone atheist (and the greater offended class) there may be a hell, an absolute right and wrong, and that consequences for certain completely lawful choices may be unpleasant. Further, offender cannot be a victim of religious persecution and is in fact the cause of all ills from slavery to misogyny to the global warming that caused Katrina. Therefore, offender should be responsible for in addition to damages paying reparations for every act of oppression or environmental damage perpetrated by every non-muslim or non-communist (who are victims) anywhere in the world since records-keeping was invented. Additionally, the state should pay damages for allowing lawyers for the defendant and the defendants themselves to use government resources via the courts to defend a religious cause, and the US Constitution should be found unconstitutional for allowing them to do so. Since the signers of the Constitution were also oppressors (e.g. owners of slaves) and it is obvious they wrote the constitution with malice toward the oppressed groups of the world, their descendants must pay reparations also to every tribe and tongue offended.

 

 

RELATED: Check out the latest Stop the ACLU blogcast going on at A Lady’s Ruminations. Apparently some ACLU members have broken away from their leadership and are demanding an end to the hypocrisy. Good luck Trotskyites; stay out of Mexico.

 

 

Posted by Martin at September 28, 2006 07:21 PM

Comments

This is great. I read in some blog, can't remember where now, the the only sure way for our military to be safe from prosecution by the left and groups like the ACLU, concerning treatment of prisoners, is ...... don't take any prisoners. heh

Posted by: Debbie at September 29, 2006 08:22 AM

Awesome post Martin!...never were truer words spoken !

Posted by: Angel at September 30, 2006 07:55 PM

And yet the MSM still turn to the American Communist Litigator's Union as if made up of simple and fair constitutional "pro-liberty" experts wherever a question of law arises, which of course tells you everything you need to know about the so-called journalist doing the report.

As for military detainees, we need to do what we did with non-uniformed German "insurgents" who stirred up trouble after the end of WWII: when they don't abide by the rules we also take the gloves off and make them wish they had. ;)

Posted by: Martin at September 30, 2006 11:17 PM

Martin I linked to this..hope u receive the TB!..:)

Posted by: Angel at October 3, 2006 08:22 AM